Now, before I start this post, I want to say- I wouldn’t slap my mama for a million dollars.
Remember those jokes when we were kids?
Well this isn’t a joke.
There are just some things that you can’t pay me enough money to do again at Walt Disney World.
These could also be called ‘deal breakers’ and ‘no nope nopitty nope nopes’ (kinda like doing fear factor and playing with cockroaches).
If your anything like me, these might be hard passes for you too- or maybe you’ll beat the odds and have success with these items. While I have to go at every time of the year (it’s kinda my job) I highly recommend that you go at the Best Times of the year– because going at the wrong time could mean that your vacation is ruined.
That’s why this posts exists- here’s all the things I never (no- not ever) want to do again at Disney World even if someone paid me good money to do them!
This post contains affiliate links at no extra cost to you, check out my affiliate disclosure for more information and all the legal mumbo jumbo.
Things I never want to do again at Disney World
# 1 Hoping on the Monorail (and you can add the skyliner to that list after the accident opening week)
Taking the monorail after 8pm is ridiculous!!
Some people say this has to do with the fireworks.
But I’ve been quite a few times this year, and with the crowd levels it has nothing to do with the actual fireworks.
It’s like the freeway getting backed up at 3pm on a Friday. Everyone is anticipating the 5 o’clock traffic, trying to sneak out early, get home for their evening plans.
Yeah, it’s like that except its filled with strollers, crying kids and the few drunk obnoxious couples (or teenagers- pick your poison) that decide the monorail is the place to be after 8 pm.
I can’t do it.
Maybe you can, maybe you can’t- but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
And add insult to injury, you’re exhuasted and you just want to get back to the resort or your car.
It’s why I never travel without my secret weapon.
And a little TMI- this could save you on your visit if you’ve got the thunder thighs like I do. The solution to chub rub and hating your thighs- I always bring this with me when I go to Disney World.
# 2 Standing there with every hack known to man
I’ve got my portable fan, my portable charger for my fan, my kids have their own stroller fans (and NOT the ones from disney because they break easily #askmehowIknow) and a cooling towel… but it’s TOO MUCH. The Florida Heat is here 10 months outa the year
If you’ve been to toy story land since it opened, you will have a visual. But for those that haven’t let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, the imagineers came up with a super fun ride called, slinky dog dash. It was super popular. So popular in fact that the line needed to extend all throughout the toy story land, not under any shade!
Um yikes! That’s a long time to stand in a line, that’s hardly moving, with no shade and no breeze. At least it passes by a few drink carts on the way!
Since that fateful day with their outside line, they have made some improvements.
Namely, They have since added some umbrellas. And these wonderful umbrellas are also at Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge (since it’s connected to Toy Story Land on one side).
But you can find instances across the parks where lines are not inside and you will roast in your cute Disney t-shirt and mickey ears while your iPhone screams at you it’s too hot.
That’s a hard pass from me!
I’d much rather go back to the resorts for a quick swim break (or let’s be honest… a nap!) and then come back in the evening. Some people seem to think that this is only in the “summer”
Hold on, Imma laugh my way to the bank.
It’s hot 9 months outa the year in Florida. Even the cool mornings (and by cool I mena like 50 degrees) end up having you turn the A/C on in the afternoons. You can still get sunburnt in the winter! Thankfully, we know the best times to go to get optimal weather and lower crowds, but that 1-5 pm window is pretty much year round!
# 3 Going to quick serve at cinderella time
I know that a lot of these are related to time, and it’s because I’m trying to help you out here.
Everyone is traveling, times are all missed up, and they are relying on what we can call “WDW time”
You know in cinderella, how they warn her about the clock striking midnight?
Well I’m here to warn you about the clock striking noon.
It’s the proverbial, when all h#ll breaks loose. Kinda kidding. Kinda not.
See, you have all these people, that are hungry, they’ve been at the parks for hours, and they may have only had a few hours of sleep last night due to extra magic hours or a kid that wont sleep.
🏰Read more:25 Easy Disney World hacks 🏰
And those people, all rush at the same time, to the nearest quick service food joint because they are hungry. I get it.
I really do. People gotta eat.
So how can you avoid this mass exodus of people?
It’s not worth it to fight like a middle school cafeteria with line butt-ers and those parents that yell across the place because they are too tired (or too lazy) to walk over to the rest of their party.
Just go around 11 or after 1, your pack your own lunch.
Or my favorite, do a table service restaurant (not at noon, because you’ll wait 2+ hours)
I’m also a fan of bringing some snacks and food in (die hard foodies, don’t @ me) and I love using this cooler. It collapses and it’s so easy to tote around and clean!
# 4 It’s almost racist
This next thing is a weird thing.
Weird because I’m surprised it’s still at Disney TBH
I’ve yet to find someone that loves this **(actually they exist in the comments) , mostly its unsuspecting visitors desperate for a place to cool off. Or adults feeling nostalgic of their childhood.
It’s like watching the little mermaid as an adult and realizing how many innuendos are in the movie. Except it’s a show not a movie. And the innuendos are sprinkled with some very racists comments.
It’s not something I recommend anyone doing. Ever.
It’s called the Country Bear Jamboree and it’s at Magic kingdom in frontier land.
This frightful attraction (and not in the good way like haunted mansion), is a predesigned show, with ‘bears’ that sing and dance and pop out of strange places, with songs I wouldn’t want my kids to repeat.
While it is a blast from the past, I can happily say that I never ever want to do it again.
Some people love it for its history and the A/C. For everyone else, it’s a hard pass.
#5 The H-Days
I’m not talking about all the holidays.
And I’m not talking about the holiday season.
I’m talking about those holidays where the place reaches maximum capacity and you have to elbow your way into the 15 minute long bathroom line, after waiting in line for 2 hours to get some food…
Traditionally, those holidays are the ones from your nightmares, where you are packed in somewhere so tight that you can’t escape.
Namely, they are the Fourth of July, Christmas day, and New Years Eve.
I don’t know about you, but I can definitely find better things to do with my time than wait in line everywhere I go (bathroom, food, water, just trying to walk through the packed crowd!) even if that means I stay home by myself.
Oh and let me not forget about Mickeys Not so Scary Halloween party, a special hard ticket event, on halloween night. (all the other nights, even the ones that are sold out, aren’t as bad as halloween night)
Not only is it packed, but you have lots of little kids with very high expectations, dressed to the nines in their cute costumes. It’s a recipe for disaster because you can’t possibly do it all on halloween night.
🏰Read more:25 Easy Disney World hacks 🏰
# 6 It’s 20 minutes of my life I can never get back!
You know the thing about a Disney World vacation. You are only there for a limited time and you paid good money to be there.
So you don’t want to waste your time.
You want to schedule your meals and your fastpasses and your character meets and have lots of fun and get to everything.
If you don’t want to waste 20 minutes of your life, I suggest you skip the coffee.
No, not the coffee at the resort, or the coffee at breakfast.
It would be the insanely long line (and even longer to actually get your drink made) at the starbucks in magic kingdom.
This starbucks, unlike some of the ones at Disney World Parks (cough cough hollywood studios), is prominently displayed and conveniently located on main street.
Which means, everyone and their mother brother and sister knows where it’s at and wants in on the caffeinated action.
Coffee is important- especially at Disney.
But save your starbucks trip for the afternoon and grab coffee somewhere else in the AM
FYI- starbucks is closed at EPCOT due to construction. Plan accordingly
#7 Epcot Frat Parties during the festivities
Epcot has some serious kickbutt festivals.
For-Real-zies, some quality stuff.
And because of that, their reputation proceeds them, and everyone wants to come to enjoy the sights, the sounds and especially the food.
The food is probably the most magical part!
And did I mention it’s included in the cost of your ticket?
YAP, you can visit these awesome festivals on your next trip to Epcot if you are in the window.
But what’s not magical, enjoyable or recommended, is the sheer amount of people that come on the weekends. Particularly in the afternoon and evening hours you have a high percentage of intoxicated folks, and a wall to wall blockade of people.
You can find much better uses of your time, like going in the morning hours (world showcase opens at 11) or just skipping the weekend at Epcot all together.
I definitely have ZERO plans of ever going to Epcot on a Friday Night during the food and wine festival. Drunk UCF students? No thanks!
Stay Happy at Disney World
So I love Disney, for real, and I’m not a complainer, I just won’t be doing the above things eva again. Like never ever.
If you want to brave them, let me know, I’d love to know if I should change my mind!
Disney World has like 12675 other wonderful things to enjoy, which makes me feel confident in my choice on missing out of some things…